make happiness your goal.

Wow! I can’t believe it’s already 2015. Hope you’re having a great new year! It's a time of goals, fresh starts, new plans, and more dreams.

I want to start this post with a story from something I read once, but can’t for the life of me remember where I read it. The few sentences stuck with me, and that’s what matters…right? If anyone knows, feel free to share.

“A teacher asked me to write what I want to be when I grow up for an assignment. I wrote that I want to be happy. She told me that I obviously didn’t understand the assignment. I told her she obviously didn’t understand life.”

Isn’t that a beautiful outlook? To have happiness be your goal? Life is amazing, special, exciting, and happiness is the key to success.

Sometimes being happy is hard though, as funny as that sounds. So make it a goal! Happiness is something we can create, and here are eight things that I think help create real happiness. Besides Disneyland, of course. ;)

Surround yourself with love.
These last few years have been the most satisfying years of my life, and, upon reflection, it’s easy to see why: I’m surrounded by so many people I love and things that make my life better, and not surrounded by people and things that don’t. Well, I mean, technically I do have things in my life that I don’t like, but I have made it a goal to not focus on them. To not give them my time. To overlook and not allow them any power over my happiness. When we focus on the things we love, we see the best parts of life. I’ve come to learn that perspective is everything, so choose to have a perspective of happiness.

Don’t take it personally.
It’s a fact that sometimes people don’t make the best choices/say the best things. We can’t control it, and we can’t change it. But what we can control and change is our response to those things. People do and say things for an infinite number of reasons, but we can respond to every one of them the same way—by not taking it personally…even if the attack is meant to be personal! By not taking things personally, you make yourself the lead in the situation. You’re in control of your reactions and happiness. It’s hard to do, but if you can master not taking things personally in your life you will be so much happier.

Stay on the positive side.
Life is hard. That makes it difficult to be happy sometimes. Things just seem to go wrong, and most of the time there is nothing you can do about it. But that doesn’t mean your outlook has to go wrong with it! If someone is doing something that bothers you, or if some situation is just not going your way, stop for a moment and think about something that person does that you like (hopefully there’s something!) or something that is going right in your life. This keeps your mind focused on the positive!

See things from another’s perspective.
It’s so easy to fall into the trap of “me.” But life isn’t all about “me,” and I’ve found that the easiest way to destroy happiness is to only think about myself. Reaching out to experience how someone else thinks and feels offers a level of compassion, understanding, and happiness not achievable by just focusing inward. So take the time to think about others—their situations, feelings, goals—and you’ll connect with the world on an even happier level. 

Make time for you.
On the flipside of the previous tip, you always want to make sure you have something going on that is about you. Take a moment to reflect on how great life is, and how amazing you are. You deserve happiness. Then take that feeling and pour it back into yourself. Whether it’s a hobby, a book, game night, or a bubble bath, regenerate yourself with your passion. Spending time with good friends or going on a vacation—even if it is a simple staycation—are great ways to do this. Take a break from the everyday and do something you love. Reconnect with life. Have fun and laugh. If you invest in your happiness, you’ll have happiness to invest in others.

Overcome stress.
Everyone gets overwhelmed. It comes in many forms—something physical happening, something mental happening, and sometimes a bit of both. But being overwhelmed doesn’t mean we can’t be happy! Acknowledging things from the past, present, or future that are weighing us down, depressing us, and adding stress to our lives gives us the opportunity to change how they affect us. Doing a regular “spring cleaning” in your mind can help you overcome all the negativity, insecurity, and doubt that piles up. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it! Think about something weighing you down, and then change your focus to the simple feeling of being happy. Then make a list of things you like about yourself. Then move on to thinking about specific things in your life that make you happy. Repeat as necessary. This exercise trains your brain to replace the negative with the positive, and is a quick way to change a bad day into a good one!

Serve.
I find happiness is contagious. So, if you're feeling down and want to change that, make other people happy! It doesn't have to be big acts of service, it can be something small or quick. But whatever you do, serve from the heart. Because when you help others, you not only increase the happiness of those around you, you find new meaning in your own life.

Keep moving forward. 
Josh is really good at this one. He keeps a positive attitude by focusing on the end goal, not the current stress surrounding us. This results in a can-do attitude here and now, and keeps us moving towards our goals. Reflect on the things that are stressful in your life, and then look past them to the end result you want. If you focus on that, it's easier to have a positive attitude in even the most stressful of situations! And, if life throws you a curveball, that's ok! Set a new goal and keep moving forward. This can apply to anything: work, school, marriage, hobbies, family, friends, life in general. I know people say that life's all about the journey, but don't forget why you started the journey in the first place!